Rebato's Tapas & Roller Disco in Vauxhall

http://www.rebatos.com/

Website states: Our customers tell us this could be 'the best Spanish restaurant and Tapas bar in London'

Big claim... but as far as I'm concerned in my experience of Tapas, they could well be right.  I did in fact leave the joint declaring 'that was the best tapas I'VE ever had' which may or may not have been impacted by the bottle of white I was consuming - which FYI, was just house dry white and was fantastic.

To get back to the beginning of this jaunt (week before last - am lax - totes soz) (and I say that ironically by the way, I'm not a total dick) In celebration (I should say commiseration?) of some of our colleagues leaving the company, wheels were set in motion for an evening of Tapas and rollerskating.  The usual innit... innit? No, but it SHOULD be! Was such a brilliant combo because if you're new to rollerskating you can merely open your mouth and breathe the path ahead of you clear from sheer garlic overload from the tapas.  That's a health and safety tip you can keep you lucky, lucky people.

On the walk from Vauxhall overground station to Rebato's (not to be done in the rain - not short) i was becoming more and more dubious as we passed Spanish looking restaurants that looked more and more run down and grubby with stern 'don't enter my local you surburban trespasser' looks being shot at us from those sitting out front.  with JOY we came upon Rebatos and it looked delightful if pretty gloomy. 

Stepping inside was like literally stepping into Spain, authentic Spanish feel and authentic I know better than you bar staff. I started on my first glass of their lovely white and they also presented us with some chunks of spanish tortilla (potato omelette).  This usually means dry, bland tasteless stodge but it was delicious, more akin to the sort of tartiflette flavours of a french or german dish.

(DISCLAIMER - am a tapas HATER FYI.  Everyone bangs on about it being a taste sensation when most of what i've ever had (yes INCLUDING in Spain) is dull. Im not a big fan of chorizo - it can taste like metallic blood - and i can have fried potatoes anytime i like. And THEN, if there is a dish i take a fancy to, it's gone before i've even caught a waft as they're so stupidly small)

Once all 12 of us or so had arrived we were taken to the restaurant area which was such a surprise, it had a huge conservatory feel, massive plants against white washed walls and massive skylights.  Spanish tiled floors and well laid tables, cannot praise it enough. (just to balance out this outpouring of love and passion - the loos are gross)

We poured in the orders, shouting out random dishes then "x3".  Food starting pouring out as and when it was ready which is something you need to bear in mind because as first couple of dishes arrived and were devoured we ordered more of them as we'd already forgotten half of wht we'd asked for.  To the extent that when we had all decided we were pretty much done and some more enthusiastic diners had stabbed others in the back of their hands in their eagerness for a prawn, the calamari started rolling out which we'd completely forgotten.

To summarise what i can remember of the dishes and rate them each -

Olive ciabatta bread with oils and aioli and tortilla - 9/10
thinly sliced portobello mushrooms with garlic butter - 10!
tomatoes with vinaigrette and toasted pine nuts - 8
chorizo - (am prejudiced) - 3
patatas bravas  - 7 - served with separate pots of tomato/garlic/mayonaise which is a nice touch to help yourself
calamari - 8
spinach and garlic croquettes - 7
chicken in garlic - 9
Prawns in garlic - 8
smoked suckling pig ribs - 0

I'm sure i can't even remember most of it... the ribs get a 0 because they arrived last of all once we were all stuffed and they STANK. I don't much like smoked things at the best of times but these smelt acrid and felt convinced i'd smell like one of them when i left so i didn't even try it. what a GRINCH.

Absolutely fantastic atmosphere and environment, would love to go in dead of winter for a holiday feeling uplift - 8/10 because as good as it gets, ain't ever going to be my favourite cuisine.

Roller Disco in Vauxhall - http://www.rollerdisco.com/

So from then on to the Roller Disco! Won't go into much detail but it is a BRILLIANT night out, if a little alarming.  I haven't skated since i was about 10 and it all came back! there is a slower speed rink and fast paced one.  We had a booth booked round the edge (right next to the bar) which is a must so you have a sitting down spot.

Advice to all - have a wee before you start because it's an interesting experience going in your boots.  (not IN your boots.. you get me) Dance/skate off battles broke out on the fast paced area which were awesome to watch, they guys who work there and the regulars are entertaining enough to watch in themselves.

And big bonus of it all, a brilliant outside smoking area with heaters and decking that you can go out in your skates on.  THE DOWNSIDE - to access the smoking area you must cross the PRO PIT. as i call it.  But see this as a challenge, I will force myself to exercise in order to go and destroy my lungs.  That kind of thaaaang.  What else? check your bag i and cram bare essentials in your pockets.  You won't care once you're whizzing round the floor.

Another hot tip - take some idiots from your work who are willing to attempt ridiculous stunts unbefitting to a group of desk monkeys, my stomach hurt the most of all my muscles the next day from laughing so hard.  And myself being the clumsiest person in attendance? I stacked it just the once.  When standing still.

Brilliant.

Drool will not do your laptop any good..

P.S. SELF PROMOTING BLAG - Bing's birthday present from me, based on a recipe by Lorraine Pascale (used creme fraiche instead of cream, brandy stead of sherry and added garlic to the mushroom mix because C'MON! I'm part French, don't tell me mushrooms can survive without it!!! )

Individual AMAHHHHHHH-ZING Beef Wellingtons



Birthday Bonanza Week

Prepare yourself...  In the past week I have managed:

The Minnow, Weybridge
Great Ghurkas, Weybridge
Carluccios, Walton
Snog, Westfield
Oriental Chef, Walton
Dime Bar, Underdog, Adventure Cocktails, Clapham
Firezza Pizza, Wandsworth
London Hong Kong, Heathrow

I KNOW! you're impressed right?  Not disgusted? Good.  Then let's BEGIN!

Wednesday - The Minnow Pub in Weybridge
http://www.theminnow.co.uk/

Birthday niiighhttt!! also, insanely hot day of the year night... spent all day trudging on and off the tube round London and, hold on to something, I actually FORGOT to eat all day! Just too hot!

However, this had its repercussions later as you will discover...

So I met up with a big group of friends at the pub and we sat outside, thankfully managed to secure a table.  At a Surrey, riverside pub on the one day of Summer, this is no mean feat.  But when and if you can this is a really lovely pub.  Little bit pricey and swaying slightly to the pretentious which you're hard pushed to escape round here, it is still worth it.  Even if you ALWAYS order the same thing.. Spit chicken with lemon, thyme and garlic.  Pour moi anyway.  I was planning on being more adventurous, they do some good sounding fish dishes and flatbreads but I was a bottle of wine and one gin and tonic in and creative thinking was far from urgent, stomach lining much more the thing.  It was alriiight, to my desperate, anguished stomach it was glorious, but I was peeved not to have a bit more gravy which it usually comes with and otherwise is a bit dry, but my whining made some more appear so vunderbar!

We all ordered at the bar and timings were very random, all burgers taking a very long time, but no one was feeling courteous enough to sit and let things get cool so they merely dug in and withstood the glares issuing from the 'I'll just get a quick burger' attendees.



Evil cookie masquerading candle BEFORE



Then as the evening slid ungraciously into nightfall and I overcame the pudding struggle declaring myself NOT a participant, lo and bloody behold if one doesn't appear nonetheless! Courtesy of my friend who'd gone to order me a delightfully childlike ball of ice cream alongside cookies with a candle wedged in the top! LOVE IT! loved it.  Loved it far, far too much... In my defence, before I reveal what went on to occur, I had imbibed copious amounts, I was half blinded by the glow of good food, good company, too much fag smoke and contentedness... so as I rummaged around the melted ice cream and victoriously unearthed a leftover wodge of cookie, I didn't think twice about shoving it in my gob.  And chewing right into it, an EMBARRASSINGLY long time into this chewing, it dawned on me.  It was the solitary birthday candle. in my teeth.  Possibly for ever more. did I deal with it quietly myself rather than reveal my greed fuelled stupidity to those with me? HELL no.  I spat, and dug around and spat some more and gargled.  Didn't do a fat lot, in the end i just carried on drinking.  Needless to say, I was feeling a little waxy round the edges the next morning...

(8 out of ten mostly for ambience and location - it's not their fault I only have about 5 brain cells)

Thursday, The Great Gurkhas, Weybridge

http://www.thegreatgurkhas.com/index.html

Just what I needed on on a wax induced hangover, a Nepalese Curry!

Reason for the outing, none really just an excuse for a bunch of us from work to go eat curry and get merry.  Table was booked for about 20 of us in total, and we were pretty much the only people in there which is just as well cos we're a demanding lot.  This is the only Nepalese restaurant I've been to (once before this) so any judgements I form on this cuisine are Gurkhas responsibility.  Get out clause done!

For a change, someone with awesome organisation skills had set this wheel in motion, so when we tipped up fresh out the pub, orders were placed and the staff were the keepers of a concise excel sheet neatly laying out who was eating what.  So there was no backing out of hastily placed orders earlier in the week.  And the staff made an amusing attempt at assigning faces to names purely on first impressions, stereotypes and a healthy dose of racism, and it has to be said, they got about 80% right!!

I had gone for - Sag chicken and Ghurkali Bhat rice.  Exotic you say?  Wrong you'd be...! Chicken with spinach and pilau rice actually. I played it safe having been here before, there is something unusual about Nepalese - when they say it's spicy, they're NOT messing about! I'd say everyone else in England lies bar them - so read their chilli scale like this:

1 chilli - all the cows in the world aint quenching this thirst
2 chillis - you're into self harming and have no need for a tongue anyway
3 chillis - my sister Geoff would think this pleasant.  The rest of the world would disintegrate on contact.

But safe (and sensible on a hangover) as I was, the dish was lovely, it wasn't like normal Indian sag chicken which is more like the sag has been fried, here it is very fresh and really tastes of spinach (specialist subject?) and had been cooked in a few tomatoes, it was really fresh tasting, lovely.  And the rice was just rice, next time going to step up to one of their more interesting ones.

I picked a good dish for me, loads of other people like it there because they do lean heavily on the sweet, creamy coconutty side of indian cuisine HEAVE korma esque, butter chicken (what why is this and doing here? really?) but if you hate all that, there are still good dishes on the menu.

And of course i'd stuffed my face on poppadams first (an ant arrived aboard the condiments tray which we pointed out thinking was quite funny, the waiter was aghast and brought over a new one, now i don;t know if this was one wily ant or one two faced waiter, but back came the ant and we welcomed him to the table - the rest of the restaurant is very clean, although DOES smell like a charity shop/old persons house?! alarmingly, I lost the ant whilst in my custody shortly after, trying not to think he went the same way as the candle...is NOTHING SAFE?!)

Also the decor in there is cool, it's got that feeling of being on holiday, the walls are made up to look like the outsides of bamboo shacks.

Sooooooooooooooooo - brap brap BRAP! 7/10.  I knooow it's nepalese, but it ain;t no Fetcham Tandoori, so it ain't going far up the charts.  Great for a work do though.

Friday - Carluccios, Snog, Oriental Chef - Walton, Westfield, Walton

Friday morning, awoke to full sofas.  Great Gurkhas had been followed swiftly by a couple of pubs round the corner and as such the hangover was back, but less waxy, more anty.  I'd set my alarm for 6.30am fully intending in my drunken stupor to get up early and go to the gym, GREAT IDEA! Rather surprisingly, the next morning i obediently swung out of bed, donned the lycra, introduced contact lenses to the surface of my eye balls, looked at myself and realised YOU'RE DRUNK.  Go back to bed.  So i did.

When finally getting up to a more sober state, the other bodies were up and crying out for fry ups in varying levels of desperation.  I felt the need for a clean fry up (that does make sense I promise) so off we went to carluccios for an italian's fry up!

Colazione Magnifica (indeed)
Pancetta, eggs how you like em, italian slice of bread, thinly sliced mushrooms and a grilled tomato.

you MUST request scrambled eggs, theyre the only eggs you don't need to add salt to, AMAaaahhhhhZING.  And you get a freshly squeezed juice and a choice of coffee or tea all for a tenner.  Now I know this is just chain stuff, and actually am totally anti Carluccios on the mains front, think is overpriced and Bland bland bland but this BREAKFAST. is just ace. Forgot to take my own picture, but some random flickr person has been more organised and am happy with this as an example - http://www.flickr.com/photos/luscioustemptations/4757708918/lightbox/

(and make sure you ask for tomato sauce - a fresh tomato salsa arrives PACKED with flavour)

The breakfast? 9/10.  Carluccios - c'moooonnnn it's a CHAIN. It's a nice enough branch, friendly staff, but the outside space is next to the road let's not get excited. it gets a whatever/10.

Fully fuelled Magnifica stylee, was picked up by my Birthday buddy Bing (his was on Thursday) as we'd given ourselves the day off for retail therapy.  Selfishly, I had eaten near to lunch so wasn't hungry but Bing insists he's a machine and can go without food anyway blah blah blah. We did however (i did however) stop for a quick FRO YO PICK ME UP!! love a bit of frozen yoghurt, so I got a small cup of chocolate yoghurt and some almonds from Snog.  How many times must those poor staff have to deal with, 'Fancy a snog? I thought we were just friends ahahahahahaha...ha...hmm.  And of course we did a few Pretzel place drive by tastings DANG MO!!! THEY SMELL TOO AWESOME!

And so to home, and to Oriental Chef for a takeaway while we watched the opening ceremony.
(Went back for more Szechuan, really quite taken with it...!)

Saturday, Clapham - Dime Bar, Underdog, Adventure Cocktails
http://www.thedimebar.co.uk/

Because I haven't done enough this week to mark my unimportant 26th birthday, Saturday was the ACTUAL celebration.  Joint fandango with Bingothy, so we'd reserved an area at the Dime Bar in Clapham, very quick walk from Clapham Junction station.  A booking for 20 people is free, but if your party doesn't show, they'll take £100 from your credit card, so not ideal for an ever optimistic Billy no mates.  Luckily for me our group showed! (nothing to do with the threats I had issued saying they'd be contributing if I was made to pay...) and the area we had right at the back was brilliant, loads of seating space.

Dime Bar is a new favourite of mine.  It's got a great atmosphere, bartenders who don't measure out their shots, tasty cocktails, tasty fried things with cheese (Bing's faves) a table football table, great music AND karaoke rooms downstairs! I'm pushed to think what else one could require? ah - dancing.  It isn't really the place to start throwing shapes, youve got to ship out at that point.  But it IS one of the rare places that takes alcohol distribution upon themselves rather than being concerned with managements threats about accuracy of measures, so when one of the barmen learnt there was a birthday in the house I was summoned with alarming alacrity to be the token to unlock this bout of good fortune.  6 of us were allowed to pick a shot of whatever we wanted!



Half Funghi, half Diavola - half a metre of hangover cure



Things get a bit hazy but I would recomend the following:

Cheese straws, strawberry mojitos and calamari.  In that order.



Then we hit Underdog which is a sweaty dance pit of mild disgustingness but does the job for that point when you must go hurl yourself about a bit and burn off some of the excess energy from the jagerbombs.

From there to (home, would be the sensible word) Adventure Cocktails, an old favourite of mine.  Again, flagrant disregard to measuring out shots, awesome tunes and that night flaring fireworky things all round the bar which is about the size of a large toilet cubicle in it's entirety but burn free we did in fact emerge.

Dime Bar & Adventure get a whopping 9 each, Underdog gets a 5 as it is wont to do.

Sunday - Delivery from Firezza's Pizza in Wandsworth

Worth a mention for hangover purposes, if you're not a dominoes/pizza hut/papa johns fan - they do proper stone baked pizzas to deliver... by the METRE!! Oh yes.. feast your eyes on this bad boy....!

6/10 - did the job.

Monday, London Hong Kong, Heathrow

http://www.londonhongkong.co.uk/locations/london-heathrow/

What looks like a list of place names is actually a Chinese restaurant in Heathrow.  I was invited with Bing's family here to post celebrate HIS birthday (this is the last one now, promise) and was THRILLED! Partly because I have had to listen to him extolling the virtues of this place for the past 4 years or so and he's always said i'll embarrass him, and here I am not only being invited by him but avec tout la famille!! Bonza.

Was also hugely intrigued to see what a chinese family would order at a good restaurant, as I've sat and watch Bing eat his way through a thousand pork balls to know this ain't just a brit thing...

London Hong Kong has loads of tanks in the entrance with lobsters, crabs turbot etc, promising sign of fresh food to come. We sat on a big round table with a large lazy susan - the ultimate dining set up in my opinion, easy access to all your company and all the food at once.  Shouldnt be any other way.  Except maybe on a two person table.  A lazy susan would prob just make your noodles dizzy.

I'll get the PC issue out the way now - NO prawn crackers! instead - coated nuts and pickled veg, which were delicious despite all the general mockery for my chopstick ability yes yes... chinese tea arrives immediately, had a few lessons on how to say thank you when it's poured for me and how to signal you need more - leave the lid off the pot - then orders were placed (all in chinese - I could have signed up for anything, lucky am not fussy) and food started arriving really soon (really was becoming more and more ideal)

Once the food started arriving from what was sort of a soup to begin with it all just kept coming so will try and list what we had - no idea in chinese language so rolling brit style -

Meat broth - arrived alongside lumps of braised pork on the bone which you could dip in chilli with it

chicken poached in soy then roasted

pepper steak and mushrooms

Tofu with chicken

lamb stew

Morning glory greens in garlic

pork with chilli and garlic salt

boiled rice

fish and chicken rice

There was stacks, i'm not even sure i've got all of that.  It is Bing's wish that i accept I have always eaten shite tofu and that's why I don't see the point of it on this planet.  So I tried it Chinese style (i.e. covered in meat...) and am still not converting.  This style of tofu was like a shaped mound of congealed custard.  The chicken and sauce on it was great, no need for the tofu, give me rice any day...

Anyway, apart from my refusal to budge on the tofu debacle, all the rest of it was delish.  The pepper steak was all the words in the world I hate, i'll give just the one - mouth watering.  Was seriously one of the tastiest bits of beef i've ever had. (actually this wasn't even what was ordered and when questioned the waiter simply said, no it's not, this is better - LOVE this confidence that they know best! you know you're in good hands)  The soy chicken was simiarly (t-e-n-d-e-r- and M***T) and the pork - fried - then coated in garlic, chilli and salt rub was awesome and i probably ate most of that entire dish..

The whole meal was very different to what i'd ever have ordering a chinese, but then it isn't your standard brit serving Chinese, and I loved it. and also didn't embarrass myself - even got appreciative murmurs about how did i know to lift the bowl to my mouth..?  'instinct' was my reason (greed is the truth...)

Again, this is probably an unfair summary given my lack of experience in proper Chinese restaurants, but for me, this was the best I have eaten so far and i didn't feel over full or greasy afterward.

So it's getting a whopping 9.5 (gotta leave a bit of room for perfection haven't you...? Bing - that's your fault inflicting tofu on me...)

 and oh DEAR LORD, I'm DONE! That was heavy going... think I need a break now.. OR! Tapas followed by roller disco tomorrow? yeah alright...! xx